See You Staters

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My mom pulled over, and said “Let me drive.” They argued, about stopping for directions, but dad said “In the middle of the night?”

I finally just climbed over the back seat, and pushed the suitcase over so I could curl up on the duffle bag. It wasn’t all that comfortable, and there was barely enough room, but I was so tired.

“Some shortcut,” mom drove off, and I passed out before she even got back up to speed.

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Clink clink! “Uh?” I blinked, but the first thing I saw was blue light flash across the suitcase, then a red on.

“I’m sorry, officer,” mom yawned, and rolled down the window. “I know we can’t park here but.”

He swung the flashlight back, “That’s fine, I just have to check if you’re having car trouble?” I had to turn around to see the lady flashing her light in the window, on the other side. Not her face, but her jacket had a badge that said (Trooper) in a banner over (Nebraska) on a blue ring under the banner. Then, (State of Nebraska) and (State Patrol) around another ring inside that, just in case you missed it.

Dad rolled down his window. “Here’s the Registration, and Insurance.” She turned to take the paperwork out of his hand, and held her flashlight up.

“Heading off to college?” Her partner shone his flashlight on the suitcase again.

“Just a summer road trip.”

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The lady trooper shined her light right down in daddy’s lap. “Sir, do you have any weapons, or drugs in your pants?”

“No maam.”

“Step out of the car.” She stepped back, and switched hands. Unsnapping her holster, and crossing her wrists, so she could point her pistol, and flashlight at dad. “Keep your hands where I can see them, reach out slowly, and open the door from the outside.”

“Look, this is just a misunderstanding.”

“Maam, you better get out of the car too.”

“Turn around, with your hands on the roof.” The lady cop put her gun away at least, but then she kicked daddy. “Spread your legs.” Her hand felt around his hip, and right in front of his pants.

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“Look.”

“Eyes front, I’m not going to tell you again.”

“Do as she says,” mom sounded scared, but now she was up against the window, in front of the suitcase. I didn’t even think about it until later, but pushing it up on that to curl up on the duffelbag must’ve been why he didn’t see me back there.

“Uh, watch it! UH! What do you think you’re doing?” Pulling her top up, and trying to stick his hand down her pants, like a child molester.

“I just have to make sure you’re not hiding anything.” I was too scared to even breathe, until my lungs felt like they were about to pop, and I had to let it out. I wanted to close my eyes, and keep them closed, but when I did I just remembered this nightmare.

At least, I thought it was a nightmare. That’s why I couldn’t close my eyes, because he said that.

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“Just close your eyes, and go back to sleep.”

He was touching me, not in his lap, but in my bed. In my sleep, but when I woke up, he just shushed me. Told me to close my eyes, and go back to sleep.

“Maybe we can work something out.” Dad finally leaned back against the window on his side.

“Turn around, and assume the position.” He unzipped his pants, but he didn’t do what he said. “This is what you’re looking for isn’t it?”

“Looks like they’re into it.” The man trooper said.

“Huh, just get it over with.” Mom said, but by then, he had her top pulled out, unbuttoned form the bottom, and another hand up there. His first hand down the front of his pants.

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“I have condoms in the glove box, let me get them out.” The lady trooper let him lean in the open door, while she pulled open the snaps on her shirt. Her jacket unzipped, she just dropped back, and squeezed her bra cups together, to unhook them in front.

I heard a clink from the other side. “No cuffs.” The other trooper. “Please don’t handcuff me.” My mom sniffed, but he pulled her arms off the roof. “Please, don’t do this.” I could tell she was crying.

“If you cooperate, we’ll let you go on your way.”

“At least put a rubber on it, if you’re going to rape my wife, you sick fuck!”

“Shut up, spread your legs, and bend at the knees. Hold it right there. UH!” She grunted like a man. “Fuck, you like that, don’t you?”

“No, just get it over with.”

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“AIY!” Mom screamed, “No, it hurts, stop you’re hurting me!” I just but my head down, and covered my ears in the dark. I couldn’t cover up the car shaking back and forth. I told myself to wake up, pinching myself to wake up, but it didn’t work. It was a nightmare, but I couldn’t lie to myself, and deny that it really happened. Not after they got in the car, crying, and drove off.

They didn’t say anything, to me or each other the whole way to the border with Iowa. They just got a motel in Sioux City where we could hold each other and cry ourselves to sleep together, as a family.

But not one big happy one, after that. In the morning, I told them what Uncle Kenny did to me, after my 10th birthday, and we cried together some more. That ended our trip to Chicago, but we turned back, and drove home through South Dakoda, so we never had to go through Nebraska ever again.

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Updated: July 31, 2021 — 3:14 pm
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