Naked Emotions

This is a slightly fictionalized account of the experiences of Lush member Nika S. Names have been changed, and some of the events simplified for descriptive purposes, but the events are true. This is the twenty-second chapter of Nika’s life as a sex slave. The photo is of Nika and Miriam.

“Well, ladies, that was a truly great meal. Which one of you talented chefs do I have to thank for this?” Hans waved his hand at the dinner table, which bore the remains of the meal they had just shared. My Mistress, Miriam, sat at the head of the table, while I sat at her right hand with Hans on my right, opposite his sister.

“It was a joint effort – as usual when we have company.”

Hans lolled at his ease, tie off, shoes off, clearly relaxed, and looking forward to that night as he suspected he was going to get a little package in his bed. A little blonde mouse in fact: me. But he was going to get more than he expected this night…

“And since when am I company?” he asked, with a smirk.

“Since we have an announcement.”


He looked up. “Oh, and what’s that?”

“Veronika and I have gotten married. Well, not married, technically, but the closest thing possible under Dutch law: geregistreerd partnerschap, a registered partnership.”

Hans sat up with a big smile on his face. “That’s wonderful! Congratulations! When did this happen? And why didn’t you let me know? I would have tried to attend the ceremony. At least I could have bought you a wedding present!”

Miriam said, “That won’t be necessary. We’ve already decided what you’re going to give us as a present.” And she smiled broadly. Hans shifted uncomfortably, He knew that smile, and it meant trouble.

“And what’s that?”

“Your child.”



Sometime later, Hans was still objecting to the idea.

“No! Absolutely not! Marie won’t stand for it! It’s one thing for me to have sex with other women since she’s as active in the Berlin club as I am, but letting me father a child with someone else? NO!”

I was tense, because this was important to me – until I looked at Mistress, and noticed that she was relaxed. Her body language told me everything I needed to know, so I relaxed, too.

I found out later that one of the reasons why Mistress was so confident was that she knew that Hans and Marie couldn’t have children. Mistress was sure she could convince Marie that having a nephew or niece to continue the dynasty would be a good thing.

Especially if that nephew or niece were also Hans’ child.


He didn’t stand a chance.


I was a bit surprised, though, when I walked to Hans’ room and found Mistress walking along beside me, wearing only the robe that I had laid out for her after bathing her – and myself. I stopped at his door and looked at her.

She just smiled at me, knocked, opened the door, and motioned for me to go in.

Hans was sitting on the bed, looking somewhat uncomfortable when he saw Mistress follow me in.

Mistress made a shooing motion with her hand to Hans, indicating that he should move into the far side of the bed, then pulled my robe from me, and pushed me onto the bed, then dropped her own.


“Muis told me that if she was going to go through all the pain and hassles of getting pregnant and having a baby, then she wanted to at least have some fun conceiving it. I think we should help her with that, don’t you?” And she arched her eyebrows at him, smiling.

His face lit up, and the discomfort left his features. “Oh, I think we should be able to do something to help her.” And he slid over to the far side of the king-sized bed, and patted it for me to lie next to him.

Not too long after that, I found myself the meat in the sandwich between Hans on one side, and Mistress on the other. Hans was on his back, with his cock up my pussy, and hugging me. Mistress was behind me, and had her feeldoe up my ass while she was squeezing my tits.

I was in heaven, between my two favorite people in the world. I just hoped that having kids was anywhere near as much fun as this, because there was no way back after having one! And I was damned if our child was going to have to go through what I did. I promised myself that he or she would be loved and looked after, no matter what!

Meanwhile, I did whatever I could to enjoy the now, and managed, literally between them, to have one smallish orgasm to start, mostly just on the thought of what was happening to me, and two really good ones after that!

When we were all exhausted, and panting in bed, I moved to slide down and lick Mistress to bring her to another orgasm, but was surprised when she stopped me. “Nika, this night is for you, hein? I want you to enjoy it.”


I kissed her hand, and smiled at her. “Thank you, Mistress – but loving you is what I enjoy!” I pushed her hand aside, and slid down to her kitty, gently pushed her legs apart, pulled the feeldoe from her vagina, and began to lick. She started squirming immediately. I mean, she knew where my hot buttons were, for sure – but I knew where hers were, and intended to push, lick, suck, or fondle all of them!

And shortly after that, as Hans looked on, head propped up on his arm, I very quickly brought her to a satisfying cum.

I stopped for a while, then was surprised as Hans moved down on me, spread my legs, and began to do to me as I had just done to Mistress!

It took some time for us to finally stop and go to sleep, but all three of us were both pleased, and sated, when we were done.

And Hans had cum inside me twice. The second time, he had laid me on my back, pushed my knees up to his shoulders, put a pillow under my ass, then slowly, but very firmly, penetrated deep inside me, pumping until he came, keeping his penis as far inside me as he could get.

And when he rolled off me, and instructed – ordered – me to keep my ass on the pillow.


Who knew getting pregnant could be this much fun!


Except I didn’t catch that month, despite it being the optimal time for me. Nor did I catch the month after. That time, Mistress and I traveled to Berlin for my optimal ovulation period, and stayed in Hans’ home.

Mistress had long since cleared things with Marie, Hans’ wife. Marie knew all about me – in fact, she had been in Amsterdam for my investiture as Mistress’ slave. She was, herself, a Domina, and a member of the Berlin BDSM club. She had originally been leery of having Hans conduct my final exam, but she and Mistress were on excellent terms, and, between them, felt it was their job to manage Hans. Besides, Marie trusted Miriam completely.

When I had first met Marie in person, several months earlier, my deference to her, as a slave to a Domina, plus my obvious devotion to Miriam, caused her to relax about my intentions towards her husband. In fact, she joined us as Hans tried again to get me pregnant, making a rare FFFM night for me – and the only one I could remember where I was the center of attention!

And since Hans was saving himself to cum inside me, Mistress and Marie spent quite a lot of time pleasuring each other.


But I think I got the most orgasms out of the deal, as all of them seemed to be going out of their way to pleasure me! It was mind-blowing for me that these people, who might as well have been European royalty, given their economic and social status, were doing their best to give pleasure to a former street rat, and someone who was a stripper and sex worker!

I guess it pays to marry well.


One other thing that happened on that “get pregnant” trip to Berlin was that I wound up spending some time with the patriarch of the Wolf family, Miriam’s 92-year old grandfather, Eric Wolf. I had been introduced to him on earlier trips, but my status then was as Mistress’ office assistant. Now I was her de facto wife, and therefore a member of the family.

I didn’t realize how much of a difference this change in status would make at the time, but learned some of it.

I was killing time in the library of the family estate while Mistress and Hans were talking with some administrators and their father about family business. I was standing, idly looking at a chess board set with a problem, when a voice surprised me.


“White to move and mate in three. Do you see it?”

I looked up, startled, to see Grandfather Wolf, sitting by the fire. I gave a small bow to acknowledge the difference in our status, then turned to the board, seeking the solution. It took me some time, but finally I moved the white bishop to the black back rank, then looked up quizzically at him. “Very good. Exactly right.”

He moved to stand, then walked slowly over to the chair opposite, waved his hand and said, “Set up the board,” then sat down.

Trembling slightly, I obeyed, remembering another time a member of his family had ordered me to play when she noticed my interest. It had been Mistress that time, and the consequences of that game followed me still. Clearly, the Wolf family thought highly of the game of chess and its players.

He took two pieces, a white and a black pawn, hid them behind his back, then held them out to me in closed fists. I chose, and wound up playing black. He chose the traditional Ruy Lopez opening, much as I had in that earlier game, but now I was playing defense right from the start, as Eric played a very aggressive game.

Although I was concentrating on the board, at times during the match I looked up to see Herr Wolf watching me as intently as the games.


I had improved since my earlier game against Mistress, and Herr Wolf and I finally finished in a draw, thirty-seven moves later. Like his granddaughter, he sat back and looked at me for some time without comment, then chuckled, and said, “My granddaughter is smarter than her parents give her credit for. Welcome to the family, Veronika.”

And he held out his hand to me. I gingerly stood up, and shook it. “Thank you, Herr Wolf,” and sketched a small bow. He nodded, then got up and left.

I wondered what had just happened, never realizing how important that game of chess would turn out to be.


I didn’t get pregnant on that trip either, so the next month, I traveled to Berlin by myself, staying with Hans and Marie.

My relationship with Marie had evolved. Although she had initially seen me as a threat, now we were starting to get friendly. And, as she was a Domina, and Hans was a Dom, Mistress thought it might be fun for them – and me – to be together without her.


As before, Hans devoted his cum to my womb, but that didn’t stop him from playing with his wife, too. And, once again, I was the meat in the sandwich – although Hans evidently liked his sandwiches wet.

We started conventionally enough, as Hans and Marie had me assume doggie position with my mouth in her lap, licking her to bring her off, while Hans fucked me vigorously. When he came hard, he kept his prick as close to my cervix as possible as he ejaculated.

I’m not sure whose moans were the loudest, but none of us were especially quiet. It was just as well that the servants had gone for the night!

Then Marie had me roll over on my back, but held my feet up to keep the cum inside me as she positioned herself over my face. She made me eat her again, bringing her to her second climax of the night, and had Hans move around to the other end and lick me to my second orgasm, holding and positioning me like a doll – which Marie said I resembled, as she was a tall, statuesque redhead.

They had a large, walk-in shower in their en suite bathroom, and it was just as well, because eventually, after some rest, the three of us wound up there together. Marie went ahead and turned the shower on, getting the temperature right, then signaled to Hans, who had rediscovered his erection by this time. He scooped me up, carried me into the shower, then gently pushed me against Marie, who was sitting on a teakwood bench with her back to the shower wall. She used her hands on me, massaging my tits with one hand, and playing with my clit with the other. Hans lifted my legs up to his shoulders, then inserted himself inside my cunt, tilting my hips to keep his cum inside me.

I was bent like a pretzel, and had two, very skilled, very determined dominants playing with my body, trying to both get me pregnant, and blow my mind at the same time.


It half-worked. I didn’t get pregnant that month, either, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

Yet, one thing that did happen is that Marie started treating me like a pet, and became very affectionate towards me. This would later turn into genuine affection, and we eventually settled down into an older-sister/younger-sister kind of relationship. She became the sister I never had, and that turned out to be very important as well.


But trying to get pregnant – while having a ball doing so – was not the whole of my life during this period.

One change that I truly appreciated was that Mistress gave me a wedding present: a gold collar with a wolf’s head on the front, to match my silver one. I know some people don’t quite understand how I can love being a slave to my Mistress, but that’s because they don’t understand how we relate, and how devoted we are to each other. Worshipping her not only felt right, it was almost like a religious experience for me.

Yet, awkwardly, that changed during this period as well. Mistress started coddling me. I was used to being her slave. I bathed her, cooked her meals when she didn’t wish to cook, did most of the household cleaning – which I will admit, was the least-favorite part of my duties – looked after her clothes, and much more besides. And that was at home.


Outside it, I was her dutiful, naked slave and status symbol. And bodyguard, if the situation called for it.

Now, she was starting to bath me, to help me with the household chores, telling me to take it easy, not to push myself too hard. And she was much gentler with me in bed. She used to use my body for her pleasure – and mine, but that was secondary. Now she was, at times, almost sickeningly attentive to my needs.

I found it hard to take. I didn’t feel like the china doll she seemed to want me to be. I was in perhaps the most robust good health of my entire life, full of energy and ambition, and didn’t want to be put on a shelf and protected.

I rebelled when she wanted me to stop Tae-Kwon-Do practice. I pointed out that I had to stay in top shape if I was going to produce a healthy, happy baby, and she finally relented.

But it was a struggle. She seemed to want to keep me wrapped in cotton wool while I wanted to run free – or as free as an owned slave can run.

Meanwhile, I kept in touch with Kristol. We had become friendly when she was recruiting me for Ivan’s pleasure, and I found that, her job aside, I really liked her – plus I thought she was really sexy. As a former model, she was an absolute glamour-puss. Yet, she also ran a business, and one that I had it in mind I might want to pursue later on, with Mistress’ agreement: escorts.


The differences between a prostitute and an escort are volume and value. A prostitute gets paid by the trick, and so tries to turn as many tricks as quickly as possible. Sometimes this turns into on-going relationships with her “regulars,” but most of the time it’s a matter of getting him off and out as quickly as possible.

An escort, on the other hand, is selling an experience. She will often go to an important dinner, dressed to the hilt, and wearing expensive (rented) jewelry, then go back to the client’s hotel room, and provide a long, slow, memorable experience that he will want to repeat.

So, a prostitute deals in transactions, an escort in relationships.

And Kristol ran an escort agency – and a highly successful one. That sounded pretty good to me, even if I wasn’t in a position to do anything about it just then.

Kristol had been disappointed when I took myself off the market. By this time, she was aware I had had serious training, but she said I also was a natural as an escort, both in demeanor, and in my upbeat, sex-kitten, bratty personality. She agreed that we should stay in touch, and she did, in fact, take me out to lunch a couple of times when she was in Amsterdam.

She was a friend, a potential sex partner, and a possible contact for future business. Nice!



The fourth time proved to be the charm. By that time, the four of us had kind of calmed down a bit, so that every fuck wasn’t a historic event.

And then it turned out to be. Hans and I were alone this time – I don’t recall where Marie was, maybe at the Berlin club. Anyway, we had a great time – I mean this was Hans, right? But it wasn’t anything remarkable or unusual.

He took me from behind to start in turtle position, then, for the first encore, rolled me over, pushed my heels up on his shoulders, and took me deep that way. He even squished me down so he could kiss me while he was crushing my body with his.

I had a hard time breathing – but fuck, it felt good!

And then, of course, the next morning, he took me in the shower. Somehow, we always seemed to wind up there. And, while we were thus engaged, as the highbrows might say, Marie walked in, naked, and started to help.


We had fun getting me preggers.

That month I missed my period. I tried to tell Mistress to wait a few days, but she knew exactly when my periods were as I was normally as regular as clockwork. She even had a chart to identify the optimal impregnation dates. She was über-Teutonic about the whole thing.

But she agreed that we should wait until we got a pregnancy test to confirm it before telling Hans and Marie. And no sooner did I agree to that than she pulled one out of her bathroom drawer. Like I say, über-Teutonic.

Hans and Marie were ecstatic, of course, and agreed to tell Miriam’s parents, and the various other members of the family – a task Mistress had no appetite for. We arranged to get together to celebrate. Except I didn’t get to drink anything other than fruit juice.

But, as I was the only one who was not a dominant, I think I had the most fun!



Being pregnant turned out not to be all that much fun otherwise. Shortly after I tested positive, I woke up one morning next to Mistress…then had to scurry out of bed to the toilet, and threw up.

The next couple of months were marked by what is laughingly called “morning sickness”, but which would hit at almost any time. I was nauseous a great deal of the time, and often only ate because Mistress required me to. And sometimes it didn’t stay down very long.

Yet, in some ways, Mistress was the biggest complication in my pregnancy. As in all things Miriam, she wanted us to have the perfect pregnancy.

So here was this tall, statuesque Ice Maiden, this Valkyrie, this head of the BDSM Clubs of Europe…turning into a mother hen. She almost fluttered about me, trying to coddle me, making me be cautious about everything: what I ate, how many hours I slept, whether my clothes were too tight…

But when she started to say that sex was off-limits, I rebelled. I’d put up with all that other crap, but I was damned if I was going to keep my legs crossed and my mouth shut for nine months. And I told her so.

Then I told her I would move in with Hans and Marie for the duration of my pregnancy if she was going to demand that I be celibate.


That finally got through to her. She leaned over, hooked a finger through the loop on my collar, and pulled my face towards her. “You are my slave. You will do as I say, understand me?

I gave her my best, big, bratty smile, “Aye, aye, yessir, Captain, ma’am, sir, your Mistress-ship!”

Her eyes went cold, then wide, then she threw her head back and laughed.

“Oh, hell, Nika…was I really that bad?”

Holding my smile, I just nodded. Then I said, “Mistress, I will obey you in all things. I promised I would, and I will…’til death us do part. But a smart mistress knows not to give orders that won’t be obeyed – doesn’t she?”

She let go of my collar, and rocked back, then nodded. “You’re right. But I want to keep you safe – and the baby! You understand that, right?”


I nodded, “Mistress, I know you want only what is best for me…for us! But women have been getting pregnant for millions of years, and none of them were as coddled as you have been trying to coddle me.” I looked up at her.

“I’m young, I’m healthy, and I am strong, Mistress. Use me!”

She stood looking at me for what seemed like a long time, then sighed and looked away. Finally, she turned towards our bedroom. “Well, if you insist…” Then she crooked her finger for me to follow her, and smiled impishly at me.

I leapt to obey!


We eventually worked things out between us. I agreed to do as she instructed with regards to diet, exercise, and sleep. She kept a chart of optimal weight throughout my pregnancy, with a pre-drawn curve of what I should weigh, given my height and original weight, then she weighed me every single day, and plotted my weight against the optimal chart. She was relentless, driven towards perfection – which surprised me not at all.


In return, I got to continue exotic dancing and lap dancing for a couple of months – but no sexing clients any more. I continued to go to classes all though my pregnancy, except at the very end, and continued to work out, although I quickly had to stop Tae-Kwon-Do, and started doing a lot more yoga, which is great for pregnant women. At least it kept my muscle tone up, which was a big selling point with Mistress.

I also got to have sex with Hans and Marie for several months after that, but eventually only oral sex, no penetration.

And finally, she only let me have sex with her. She knew I needed sex like I needed air to breathe, but she would only trust me to herself. And even then, she started to treat me like I was made of porcelain.

Still, a cum is a cum. But I was really looking forward to giving birth in order to get my old body back!


I was not quite thirty-six months one day when things changed again. I was wearing a horribly cutesy-sweet maternity dress that Mistress seemed to like, but I loathed, and was preparing our food for supper that night.


I was getting really tired of carrying a bowling ball around in my lap. It made my back ache, made sleeping difficult, and it seemed like I had to get up and pee every five minutes. I had been ratty to Mistress that morning, as my hormones had been giving me fits, so I wanted to make it up to her with a nice supper.

She had driven out to a nearby smaller city on Club business, and was late getting home. I was starting to get vexed because I could only keep the veal cooking on low temperature for just so long before it would be dried out.

There was a knock at the door, which was strange. Hardly anyone ever knocked, unless it was the postman. Wiping my hands on my apron, I walked to the front door, and looked through the peep hole to see who was outside.

Why were two policemen and a man in a business suit standing outside our door? I was concerned they were here for Mistress, and she wasn’t…

Suddenly my blood ran cold.

I opened the door and looked at the three men.


“Madam Wolf?” the older policeman said.

Continuing to wipe my hands on my apron, I nodded.

“Madam, I’m afraid we have bad news. Your partner, Miriam Wolf, has been killed in a car crash.”

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © Copyright, J.L. Gainsborough, October 2020 to July 2021.
All rights reserved. May not be copied in any form, in any medium, without the express, written consent of the author.

Updated: July 30, 2021 — 5:08 pm
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