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Cocklust Ch. 20

It turned out Chad had been right about his father.  Mr. Collins had gone to the Middle East for some sort of covert operation, which had now gone seriously wrong.  As far as Chad could gather, his dad had been gravely hurt and they didn’t know if he’d make it.  He’d been airlifted to a medical facility in Germany, and it was anybody’s guess what was going to happen next.

I took the news like a punch to the gut.  In one fell swoop, my naked pictures had become the least of our problems.  I could only imagine how Chad had to be feeling.  I hated how he was getting kicked while he was down.  Worse yet, I couldn’t stop thinking it was partly my fault.  “I’m so sorry,” I said as I put my arms around him.

“Don’t touch me.”

I tried to keep my cool, though my guilt was nagging at me.  “Listen—”

“I can’t think about this right now.  Okay?”

“I’m just trying to help—”

“Well, you’re not.  You’re not helping.”  Chad ran his hands across his face.  “Holy fucking shit…”

I just bit my lip.  I knew Chad had a lot of issues with his father, between the old man’s homophobia, putting work before family, and everything else.  And since Chad had grown up around the military, he’d always known something like this could happen.  Still, he was clearly caught off guard by the news.  I could see a thousand emotions coursing through his eyes.

I was dying to do something for Chad, to somehow make things better.  Unfortunately there seemed to be nothing I could do, at least at that moment.  I was tempted to tell him everything would be all right, but I didn’t want to sugarcoat things or give him a platitude or whatever.


“Don’t call me that.”


“Just leave me the fuck alone, okay?”

“But… but…”

“But nothing,” he said as he grabbed his phone, stormed into his room, and slammed the door behind him.

I just stayed there motionless.  My stomach felt like it had dropped to my knees.  I opened my mouth to say something, but at first nothing came out.

A few of the other Kap Eps had heard the commotion, so they showed up to see what had happened.  I took a deep breath and forced myself to get my shit together.  I wanted to be sensitive to Chad, so I debated how much to say.  I ended up just giving the others the short version in that his dad had been rushed to the hospital.  The next thing I knew, all our fraternity brothers were texting each other with the news.

I didn’t say a word about my naked pictures or the fight they had caused.  Even so, I knew I’d need to act fast to get that stuff taken down.  If those photos found their way onto Twitter or something, they could spread all over the Internet, and there was no telling where they’d end up.

I reported the post right away, but with my legal upbringing, I knew it might not be enough.  I followed up with a formal DMCA takedown notice in which I threatened to sue.  I could only hope it would get acted on before it was too late.

I’d barely finished with that stuff and had just hit “send” when Chad emerged from his room.  By that point all the other Kap Eps were waiting outside.  Chad’s eyebrows went up, and he blinked a few times.  At first nobody else seemed to move.  Then Luke stepped forward and gave him a big hug.  The others followed suit, patting him on the shoulder and giving him words of support.

Chad didn’t seem to know how to react.  He just stood there with a stunned look on his face.  I wanted nothing more than to hold him right then; I was all for letting him cry on my shoulder while I took care of his every need.  But for better or worse, that wasn’t his style.

Chad told us he’d just gotten off the phone.  Apparently he’d been talking to his mom along with a bunch of military people.  There didn’t seem to be much that anyone could say, especially since his dad’s mission was classified.  It sounded like Chad had mostly gotten the runaround.

The closest thing to good news was that Chad’s dad had made it through surgery.  As soon as he was stable, his doctors were hoping to fly him back to the States, most likely to Walter Reed Medical Center in D.C.  But he wasn’t out of the woods by any means, so his prognosis was still very much unknown.

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry,” I said as I put my arms around him.  I didn’t care that the others were watching; I just hoped he wouldn’t push me away.

Chad hardly reacted.  “Thanks,” he said in an almost monotone voice.  Then he took a deep breath.  “I need to get on the next flight to D.C.”

“Are you sure?”

“What do you expect me to do?” he asked.  “Just sit on my ass and do nothing?”

“I didn’t say that—”

“I’m going to do… well, whatever the fuck I need to.  And I’m not exactly going to bellyache about it.”

I was silent for a moment.  I wanted to tell him that nobody had accused him of bellyaching, and that it was okay to be upset.  I also wanted to beg him not to go, because I hated the thought of him being so far away.  But I forced myself to tread lightly.  “All right,” I finally said.  “Just… well, just tell me what you need me to do.”

“I don’t need you to do anything,” he said.  “I’m going to take this like a man.”

I was dying to kiss him, and for that matter, make love to him.  I wanted to turn back the clock to at least the day before, when we could still whisper stupid shit to each other, and our biggest worry was that a voyeur might be onto us.  But that already seemed like a distant memory, and with each passing minute, it seemed to fade further and further away.

Chad kept juggling phone calls for the rest of the night.  As he did, he was also checking flights and packing his bags and letting his professors know he’d be gone.  I tried to give him moral support and take care of legwork where I could.  Both of us basically pulled an all-nighter, so by the time morning rolled around, we were both pretty exhausted.

The next thing I knew, I was taking him to the airport.  Since I didn’t have a car of my own, Chad let me use his; and he asked me to take care of it while he was gone.  I took that as a good sign, in that he wasn’t telling me to go to hell.  All the same, it was hard for me to gauge what he was thinking.

Chad was silent for most of the drive.  It wasn’t till we were pretty much at the terminal, and I was following the signs toward departures, that he finally spoke up.  “Listen,” he said, “I’m sorry I freaked out on you again.”

“Well,” I said, “you don’t need to apologize.”

“I dunno…”  He sighed.  “I hope I don’t need to be gone for too long.”

“Don’t worry about school,” I said.  “I mean… you’ve obviously got more important things to take care of…”

“I guess what I’m trying to tell you is… I don’t know when I’m going to see you again.”

I pulled up to the curb, put the car in park, and looked right into his eyes.  “Don’t say it like that.”

“It’s true though,” he said.  “You know it.”

“You’re making it sound so… I dunno…”

“My dad could be in the hospital for months.  A-and if he ends up needing a caretaker or something—”

“Just do what you need to do,” I said.  “However long you need, I’ll be here… and I’ll be waiting for you.”

“How can you be sure of that?”

“What are you saying?”

“I mean, I know you’ve got needs… and I don’t want to ask you—”

“Ask me for what?”  But as soon as those words were out of my mouth, I regretted saying them.  Considering the fight we’d had, there were any number of ways Chad could’ve answered.

Chad didn’t say a word.  He looked into my eyes, but before I could react, he slammed his lips against mine.  He kissed me as frantically as he ever had.  His feelings were clearly boiling over.  At first I thought he was slobbering all over my face, but then I realized he was crying.  He let out a bunch of snorts, and the next thing I knew, I was starting to lose it myself.  We both clutched each other’s bodies and held each other tight.

I don’t know how long we were like that.  It was probably a while, but I was so out of it that I couldn’t fucking tell.  The whole experience felt like a blur.  All I knew was that I didn’t want to let Chad go.

Finally a traffic cop whistled at us.  “This is for drop-offs only,” he said.  “Move along.”

I waved at the cop as politely as I could.  “I hear you,” was the only thing I could say.

Chad leaned back and took a deep breath.  His eyes had turned red, and his whole face was wet.  He blinked and tried to get his bearings.  “I wish I didn’t have to deal with this,” he said.  “But if I don’t, I could regret it forever.”

“I get it,” I said, “and you’re doing the right thing.”

Chad sighed, undid his seatbelt, and finally opened the door.  “I hope you’re right,” he said.  “I don’t know how much more shit like this I can take.”  Then he stepped outside and grabbed his suitcase from the back.

“I love you,” I said.

Chad paused for a second.  Then he looked back at me.  “I love you too,” he said.  Finally he shut the car door, and without another word, he trudged into the terminal.

By that point, I was totally worn out on every level.  I barely had the energy to drive back to my place, get undressed, and plop into bed.  Even then, I was almost too tired to sleep, so I kept tossing and turning for what felt like hours.

I kept worrying about what was ahead of us.  I’d heard too many stories about people who’d had what you’d call a whirlwind romance but had later broken up, often in spectacular fashion.  The last thing I wanted was for me and Chad to follow in those footsteps.  At the same time, I had to admit I didn’t know where our relationship was going from here.

Eventually I did doze off, but lo and behold, I found myself dreaming of Chad.  I imagined being back in those communal showers where he and I had first met.  In those days I’d always thought he was hot, but that was as far as it had gone.  I’d never actually imagined us as a couple.

Slowly but surely, my hormones started to flow.  I’d never forgotten how Chad had always shown himself off, though at the time I hadn’t known he’d been doing it on purpose.  Still, his spiel had very clearly worked since that was how he’d originally caught my eye—and the thought of it still drove me wild.

My dream took me right back down Memory Lane.  I’d watched Chad’s routine so many times that I could still replay it in slow motion.  The first thing I remembered was his strip show of sorts, in which he’d peeled off his clothes piece by piece.  He’d always done this in full view of the others, and he’d never so much as batted an eye.

The way he took off his shirt, his six-pack was the first thing to come into view, though the top of his pubes were also peeking out.  Then he revealed his pecs and his biceps.  He took his time undoing his pants before he slowly pulled them off.  His socks came next, and he wiggled his toes as if his feet had broken free.  Last but not least, he put his hands on his waistband, and he slid his underwear down.  He bent down as he did it, so his bare ass rose up, and I got an unobstructed view of his mancunt.

Now that Chad was fully naked, he sauntered over to a showerhead.  As he did, his cock and balls swung beneath him as if he was trying to hypnotize me.  Then he turned on the water and stepped under the stream.  He slowly turned his body so I could see it from all angles.

I dreamt I chose that moment to move in for the kill.  I got under the water with him, wrapped my arms around his body, and looked into his eyes.  Chad looked right back at me, and we made that connection that had always sent my blood pumping.  Then we leaned in toward each other, and we started making out.

In my earlier dreams, I’d had to use my imagination for how Chad’s lips might taste or his skin might smell.  Now I knew those sensations so well that there was nothing left to speculate about.  I instinctively knew just how, where, and when to touch him, and I knew exactly how he’d respond.  I knew exactly how his cock felt, whether soft or semi-erect or rock-hard or anywhere in between.  I knew how his muscles would stiffen when he started feeling good.  When it came time to cum, I knew how he’d spasm both inside and out; and I knew how his jizz would feel, whether he shot on my tongue or up my ass or anywhere else.

Then— Bzzt!  Bzzt!  Bzzt!

My eyes jerked open as I suddenly woke up.  I instinctively reached to my left, but of course, Chad wasn’t there.  I blinked, rolled over, and looked around my apartment.  My phone had just sent me an alert that Chad’s flight had landed.  I waited to see if Chad would text me himself, but he didn’t.

I laid back and took a deep breath.  I was still horny from my dream to the point that my boner was visibly throbbing.  A spot of pre-cum had already soaked through my underwear.

I found myself thinking of our first time in my bed.  I’d never forgotten how nervous I’d been, and I was sure Chad had felt the same way.  I remembered how we’d talked about stupid bullshit at first, and how neither one of us had seemed to want to say what we were thinking.

One moment particularly stood out in my mind, when Chad had finally asked: was that your first time with a guy?

Y-yeah, had been my response.  I could still sense the butterflies I’d felt at that point.

Same here… although I gotta admit… it’s a helluva way to lose our man virginities…

I licked my lips at the memory.  I reached down to my crotch, pulled off my underwear, and started playing with myself.  I was a little out of practice at this; I’d been with Chad so much that I’d almost forgotten about good old-fashioned solo masturbation.

I ran my hand along my shaft as I thought of our early encounters.  I remembered how tentative we’d been back then, and how we’d kept grappling with our urges.  We’d been so clueless about man sex, yet somehow it had always felt natural, as if our primal instincts were just taking over.

Fuck yeah, Chad had said, that was better than any girl…

I spread my legs and gripped my cock.  I started jerking myself off with one hand while I played with my balls with the other.

I imagined Chad’s boyhole right in front of my face.  I loved that circle of dark skin around his pucker, which had always reminded me of a bulls-eye, as if he’d been born with a target for me to hit.  I stuck my tongue out, and I could practically feel that soft, tender flesh that smelled and tasted so musky.

Oh shit… you’re so fucking good at that…

So are you…

Shut up and keep eating me…

My tongue was darting around in circles.  I bobbed my head ever so slightly to match the rhythms of Chad’s body.  I inhaled as deeply as I could, and I sensed his aromas flooding into my lungs.  I started using my lips in conjunction with my tongue: I did a few zig-zags, then figure-eights, then a few random patterns.  I knew it would drive Chad crazy, and that his sphincter would start twitching against me.  But I also knew he’d force himself to keep control.

I want you to fuck me…

I kept rubbing my dick as I savored the pleasures rippling through my body.  My pre-cum was glistening on my cockhead, and some of it was starting to smear on my hand.  My toes were curling, and my chest was starting to heave.  But I didn’t want to get too close to the edge.

Dammit, you heard me… C’mere…

I knew Chad was always up for a tease.  As much as he begged for my dick, and as much as he loved to get fucked, he also liked to draw things out and enjoy the ride.  I took my hand off my cock, and I just laid there for a second, letting the sensations die down.

Dude, I’m so fucking horny…

I blew a kiss into the air.  I wanted to make out with him, but I knew in that position it would’ve been awkward.  My heart was pounding, and my hormones were surging.  I wanted Chad’s ass as badly as I ever had.

I touched my dick again, and I waved it up and down like I was caressing his crack.  I knew Chad would reach down, and he’d try to guide my cock toward its home.  He’d press his cunt against my tip, then slowly put his weight on me.  His mouth would drop open as my dick made its way up his chute.  Then he’d sit down on my pubes, with his balls resting on me, before he’d start to ride me in earnest.

I gripped my cock, harder this time, and I really started pounding my pud.  I made sure to keep my rhythm just the way he liked it.

I love that dick in my ass… it’s the best fucking dick…

Just take it… you know you want it…

Oh yeah… I can’t believe you feel so good…

By now I was having a full-body experience.  I was gasping and groaning while gyrating my hips, and my feet were sliding from side to side.  My balls were starting to boil, so more and more euphoria was coursing through my body.

Fuck… I’ve been wanting that more than I should…

The smacking sound from my dick kept getting louder and louder.  I was so into it that I didn’t care.

I’m not supposed to be into you…

I felt another flutter as more and more memories flooded through my head.  They seemed to be coming in quicker and quicker succession.

I couldn’t walk away from you… or even stop thinking about you… even after months of trying…

My balls were starting to tighten.  I knew it wouldn’t be long now.

Your dick is the one I want to come home to…

Now I was jacking off like nobody’s business, and my hand was flying along my shaft.  I felt my pleasure build as I passed the point of no return. 

I can’t wait to spend this next year with you… whatever else happens…

“Oh fuck!” I yelled as my load shot out of me.  A volley of cum hit me in the face, and then another splattered on my chest.  My whole body spasmed in ecstasy.  I kept on pumping my cock.  More and more gobs kept dribbling out, till gradually they waned and eventually stopped.

I put my legs back down, and I let my cock fall back against my pubes.  I just lay there for a second and tried to catch my breath.  Then I wiped my face and opened my mouth.  I tasted some of my thick salty cum, though I wanted so badly to be tasting Chad’s instead.

Chad’s words—especially whatever else happens—kept echoing through my mind.  I hoped to God he’d really meant what he’d said.  At the same time, I knew an awful lot had changed since then; but I also knew I wanted to be with him now more than ever.

I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers, and tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in my chest.

To be continued…

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