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Boyfriend D**k

I couldn’t believe she said that to me. Was I overreacting at the time?


No matter what though, I couldn’t shake that icky feeling her statement gave me, and it showed in how I treated the nightclub patrons and my co-workers. Word reached the club owner, so she called me up to her office to have a chat.

“Please,” Linda said as she sat behind her desk, “have a seat.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I prefer to stand.”

“Alright.” She nodded and pouted her lips. “So tell me, Jon, what’s up with you tonight, huh?”

I sucked my teeth and looked away for a second, but Linda clapped her hands at me and stood abruptly.

“Hey! Don’t you suck ya goddamn teeth at me; I asked you a question. Why are you being such a dick to everyone tonight? As a bouncer, you’re our customers’ first point  of contact, and the others told me they saw people turning away after seeing how rough you’ve been, so spill it.”

I raised a hand. “Earlier today, me and my girl had a conversation and…”


“It’s a little embarrassing.”

“So embarrassing it’s worth losing a night’s pay?” She folded her arms and tapped her right foot.

“You’d do me like that?”

“Hell yeah! I’m running a business here, Jon, and tonight, you’re bad for business.”

I sighed and wrinkled my nose, then said, “The conversation was about… dick size.”


“Yeah. She said it was okay but not good enough for a one night stand. Said I had ‘boyfriend dick.’”

“Oh wow. Well, that’s what your ass gets for bringing it up. Nothing good ever comes from that conversation.”

“Actually, she was the one who brought it up.”

Linda slapped her chest and jutted her neck back so quick, her hoops and curly afro bounced.

“Yeah.” I nodded and ground my molars.

“Jon, I am so sorry. That’s some backhanded, vile shit, though. How could she say that?”

“Who knows? Planting seeds to end things, maybe?”

My boss stepped from behind her desk and leaned back on the front of it. Her hips seemed broader as her bottom squished onto the edge.

“Forgive me for saying this, but your girlfriend’s a jackass.”

“Already forgiven.”

“Also, if you don’t already know, ya dick ain’t small, chief.”

I laughed – well cackled – for the first time since that demoralizing conversation earlier that day and asked, “And how would you know that?”

“You’re always printing… quite boldly might I add.” She smiled and then dimmed her eyes until they were slits, and she released a chortle. “Let’s prove her wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“She said you ain’t packing enough heat for a one night stand, right? Well, let’s prove her ass wrong. Gotta make it quick though, ‘cause I got a meeting in five minutes with some of the new bartenders in here.”

“Boss, stop playing.” I waved her off and chuckled, but her face remained stolid as she stood up off the desk, turned and bent over.

“Sounds like somebody’s satisfied only being good enough to have ‘boyfriend dick.’ Maybe you ain’t got the type to be tearing shit up.” She shrugged her shoulders and slowly straightened her stance before I closed the distance and palmed the back of her neck. As I pushed her face down onto the desk, my other hand flipped up the tail of her evening dress and pulled her g-string down to just above her knees.

“So all of you muthafuckas gonna test me today, huh? ‘Boyfriend dick’ my ass!” I snarled as I dropped my pants, smacked her fleshy backside with my meat, and slipped it into her slimy slit.

“Jesus Fu…” Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes rolled into her head. Usually, I’d go slow in the beginning and build a rhythm, but I was in no mood that day.

Absolutely none.

From the get-go, I plunged my rod into her without due care and repeated this every two to three seconds for the initial thrusts. Then, it advanced to grabbing her hip tightly and increasing the pace until her butt cheeks bounced off of my pelvis like a beach ball.

“You fucking… ooh shhhit, you fucking bastard,” she croaked. I grabbed a fistful of Linda’s hair, and she looked at me with her lips curled outwards, teeth clenched and a foaming mouth.

“Linda?” A voice from outside hollered, followed by a knocking on the door.

“Fuck,” the boss whispered. “They’re already here.”

“Then we better finish up quick then.” I gave her a wicked smile, which she mirrored. The proceeding fuck was so intense her clapping buttocks overshadowed the trance music playing downstairs. My hand covered her mouth, and she swore and trembled upon reaching orgasm. She must’ve had advanced healing powers because, within seconds, she was at full strength again and threw her plump rear into me until I exploded inside of those sugar walls. The growl that escaped me made Linda fumble to grab my neck and plant my mouth onto her shoulder to muffle the noise.

“Boss,” said another voice behind the door. “You in there?”

“Just give me a minute!” Linda and I giggled like a duo of goofy teenagers as we tried to get ourselves back in order. She scurried – faster than the nut trickling down her leg – behind the desk, adjusted her facial expression, and so did I. We then nodded at each other, and I approached her door to unlock it and expose the awaiting bartenders.

“Hey, guys,” I told them. “Sorry about the delay. Boss is all yours.”

“Thank you for your time, Jon,” Linda said. “I don’t wanna hear any more complaints about you, hear me?”

“You’ve got my word, boss.”

With that, I gave her and my colleagues one last respectful nod and returned to my station with an extra pep in my step.

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