We hug all the time. We are friends. It is part of our daily interaction. We have never been lovers and we never will be. It is simply not an option between us, nor do I want it to be. We are only friends and will always be only friends. However…I will not deny to myself that you intrigue me. I will not deny that every time we touch there is a pleasurable connection. You feel good, and I like it. I like the way you feel. I look forward to our embraces. I enjoy the way your arms feel, firm around me, pulling me close to your body. I enjoy the sound of your breath as you exhale and deliver yourself to that embrace. I love that you do not immediately pull away. Your embraces are ones of true affection and you are generous with them.
And, in that moment when we hug, I get to enjoy a whole new set of encounters with you. My imagination runs. For a little while. Just for fun. What would your body feel like in another context? What would your skin feel like? I have never felt it. What would your breath sound like in my ear? Not simply as a breath, but as an expression of passion? The thought is pleasing, enticing, and makes me smile. It is pleasing. To think of that. Those parts of you are reserved for others, but my mind belongs to me and so, I can think about it. I have never seen any part of you naked. You are always fully clothed in my presence. I know what your body feels like, pressed to mine, but what does it look like?
In this moment, I can think about touching it. I have felt your hands touch me, but not touch me. What would those hands feel like if they touched bare skin….bare skin that matters? Not my hands. Your lips have never touched me. They have been close to me, but have never touched me. They are a delicious mystery. A fantasy. How would your voice sound uttering different words? I fill in the blanks. You are a person of passion. I am attracted to that. I see beauty and joy and adventure in that. You give your passion to others, as I do. But…that does not mean I cannot imagine…what you would feel like…were you to give it to me.